I'm in the process of trying to decide what to do about classes. It's almost time to register and there's decisions to be made. It's also the most frustrating thing in the world.
I want to take 3 courses. But 3 courses were too much last semester. I'm overwhelmed and trying my best to hang on to life as it is now, never mind throwing a bunch of schoolwork my way. It makes me mad at myself that I can't handle more emotionally.
That said, I also don't want to graduate when I'm 60. Ok, it would be 2010 if I only take 2 courses a semester, plus atleast 2 summer courses next year. It still seems like an eternity.
I have no idea what I should be taking. Why can't the collegecoursebookfairy come down and say, "Hey, you need to take this, this and this. No, don't take that. Take ___ instead." I guess if I can talk to one of the advisors, they would help me, but that would require me to go into school, with an 18 month old. I can't get anything done around the house with him home, how am I going to have a meeting about my future? And my advisor isn't returning my emails...yes, repeated emails, so how can I expect her to help me face to face?
I want to take algebra. I hate math. Math scares the hell out of me. But I'm going to college for that very reason. (I don't want to be afraid of anything that a 7th grader can do without a calculator. lol) That said, I can't sign up for algebra online, for some reason. With the advisor not emailing me back I can't do anything further. Should I teach her a lesson and just show up with my whirlwind of a kid?
I also promised myself not to put The Boy into daycare, but it's becoming increasingly difficult for Hubs to be home in time for me to get to night class, not to mention that I want to fall asleep by 8pm. So if I was to put him in daycare two mornings a week, I'd be able to go to classes, not have the stress of Hubs getting home on time, not have to worry about my head drooping during class and I'd still be able to go out sometimes during the week without guilt.
But I promised myself. What if he got hurt? What if he got molested? What if he was kidnapped? What if he really likes it and doesn't want to come home? How can I put my kid in daycare?? He's my kid, I brought him into this world and I should be taking care of him, right?
I don't know what the answers are to any of my questions. They are all valid- ok, maybe a few at the end were silly, but these are the things that fly through my head constantly when I think of next semester.
It makes me want to say screw it and quit.