Asking for Help, Again.
We did have some mis-steps, as with all complex family gatherings. Hubs' brother decided Christmas was the best day to get stoned on our front lawn, only to be caught, making dinnertime uncomfortable to say the least. We have a pretty stiff no drug policy, which he is aware of. He's not welcome back into our home.
And- my family collected money for a charity (instead of doing secret santa) and now there's some disagreement as to where the money should be sent.
This is where I need help.
Originally we decided that it was going to go to a certain charity. But someone in my family, let's just say this person is the matriarch of our clan, is insisting that it go to someone else. I know this person isn't going to use the money for what we intended it to be used for. I can't tell the matriarch to go screw herself, but I can't in my heart send the money to charity knowing that someone in my family is hurting.
So, how can I send money to someone, but prevent them from using it on cigarettes and beer (not that there's anything wrong with vices, but he has a family to think of and hasn't worked in over a year)??
If I buy a gift card to Walmart, he can use it to buy things that I don't think he needs- he's irresponsible enough that he'd do just that. But I have no idea what bills he needs to have paid.
There's also the underlying feeling of being controlled my a relative that I don't appreciate. Not to mention the guilt of giving someone money to help them, but telling them what to spend it on.
Somehow, in trying to do a good thing, it's turning into getting my butt repeatedly kicked.
So not fair.
It doesn't help that Hubs is strongly against sending the money to my relative, even offering to match whatever amount we raised if I send it to the charity.
So, someone please tell me how the heck do I send money to someone who will probably blow it on god only knows what or tell me how to get out of this mess with a clear conscience.
Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. Tell me what Santa brought you!! I'd love to hear it.