Friday, November 02, 2007

Burned

So as I was writting this morning's post the phone rang.

I had just talked to my mother in law (she was the one who told me The Boy was sick) and it was her calling again.

She was hysterical. I could hear the baby wimpering in the background. He spent the night at her house because I had school Thursday night and another class this morning.

Anyways, she had poured a cup of tea, turned her back to hang up the phone with me and when she turned back she saw a teabag on the floor and then The Boy let out a blood curdling scream.

Yeah, he reached the tea cup, knocking it over onto his right arm. My mother in law had the smarts to immediately rip his shirt off of him and run his arm under cold water.

When she called me she said that it had slightly blistered, but he was ok and that I should still go to class. I told her I'd be there as soon as I could. I finished the "More Later" of the post and got into the shower.

As I walked into her house the boy still had his arm under the water. It was almost 2 hours after I hung up with her. His arm was blistered and bright red. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. Being a mother changes your heart, people. I've always tried to be pretty compassionate, but seeing your child in pain tears you in ways I can't even write about.

We needed to go to the emergency room. We hate the er. Instead she called her doctor- I live an hour away. There was no way that I was going to get him home to see his pediatrician. Her doctor allowed him to come in. We gently brought him into the car, drove him there and then had to wait. But it wasn't the emergency room. He cheered up a bit, talking and looking at the books. Everyone in the waiting room gave me dirty looks. It was obivious that his arm was burned and that he was in pain. What a bad mom....

Another thing about having your kid hurt- it doesn't matter how much it costs, you'd pay anything to have him be better. The doctor didn't take our insurance. I said to see him anyways and we'd figure out how to pay it.

The doctor checked him out, gave us a prescription burn cream, reassured me that he would heal and not scar. She gave me tylenol with codine so he'd sleep. This was all during her lunch break.

She also said that kids will be kids. Accidents happen.

Somehow, it doesn't change the whole reason why he was there in the first place. If I didn't have school, he would have been home, where he should be.

I'm *this* close to dropping this semester. Just walking away....

I feel like it's not just The Boy who got burned today.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Annika said...

Oh my god, stop beating yourself up! He could have done the same thing at home. I am so, so sorry he was hurt, but he will be OK! It is not your fault. It isn't even your mother-in-law's fault.

If you will feel better at home with him, of COURSE you should drop your class. But if it is just guilt compelling you, then you stay in that class! A happy mama means a happy boy.

12:03 AM  
Blogger CinderOla said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry hun! I hope he feels better soon. But this is in no way your fault! The doc is right, things like this happen. It could have happened at home. I agree with what annika said.

9:36 AM  
Anonymous Kim said...

As a mom, I can totally relate to your feelings and guilt. Mother guilt is a powerful thing and you must not think this was your fault. You have a life to live too and goals for yourself. Your dear boy will heal. It's just life on life's terms. Hang in there!

12:05 PM  
Blogger Patty said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the burn -- for both of you. Yes, the guilt-monster will rear it's ugly head even when your babies are into adulthood. But -- don't give up what is important to your personal growth. If you don't nurture yourself first, you can't be there completely for your family. In an airplane, when listening to the safety speil, they always, always emphasize -- adults fit your air mask first.

I hope everyone is feeling better soon. Hang in there!

11:34 PM  
Blogger Yarnhog said...

Oh, sweetie. I don't know you but I do understand how absolutely awful you feel. There is nothing harder for a parent than seeing a child in pain and thinking, "I should have done something to prevent this." But you can't, you just can't protect them from everything that could possibly happen. Sometimes, no matter how careful you are, they get hurt. It's not your fault. It's not because you're in school. It's not because he wasn't at home. Take several deep breaths and remind yourself that he will be okay.

12:46 AM  

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