Friday, January 04, 2008

It's Ok To Skip This Post.

I just received word from the hospital.

The baby is not doing well.

His brain is still producing fluid, causing the skull to enlarge and deform even more. He's waiting for surgery to relieve some of the pressure on the brain. The MRI's and other tests show that the brain couldn't form correctly and that there's barely any gray matter. The baby is blind and deaf. He's unable to breathe on his own. Overnight one of his lungs collapsed. Doctors have no idea if he will live through the surgery so my brother had him baptized.

My mom says that you can tell the baby is trying to cry and can't. Doctors let her soothe him through the incubator. She said that he reacted somewhat to her touch.

Also, my brother hasn't been able to work. He won't be paid for the time he's missing. He lives about an hour outside of Pittsburg (where the baby is). The Ronald McDonald House that he's was supposed to be staying is full (the baby came earlier than expected) so he has to make the choice of staying at a hotel or leaving and spending money on gas to get him back and forth. His car has no heat in it. My mother's boyfriend gave my brother money to get a tire fixed yesterday. They have nothing in the way of savings or money coming in. I can't even imagine how much the hospital bill is going to be. (I know my kid was 15K and he was born healthy.)

This entire situation is breaking my heart.

How do I help? How do I make things easier for my brother and his wife?? Aside from sending them a ton of cash- which we don't have, but we're sending some, I can't do anything to make it better.

Any advice??

Thanks for the thoughts left in comments and by email. I'll make sure my family sees them all. At this point, any light is better than the darkness.


Blogger sophanne said...

so sorry sunflower it's terrible to feel helpless. Everyone is doing all they can- the mama, the papa, the granma, the doctors, the baby and you...and now we are too.

9:00 PM  
Anonymous Tina M. said...

I lurk a lot on your blog, and I hope you'll forgive that this is the time that I choose to speak up.

I'm Pagan, and one of the first things I learned when I was learning about intent, will, and energy is that so often when things take a turn for the worse we, as humans, say "please send along your prayers" or "I'll pray for you". Most of the time we're hoping for, or sending, wishes for the ill person to get well. The speaker at this particular workshop session pointed out that it's not for us to decide that this person needs or wants to get well. She proposed that we instead send energy (well wishes/prayers) that the person or people in need can use as they need it.

If the person can or wants to get well, then let them use your love and care to get better. If it's that person's wish to move on, or if the family is struggling with the passing time, well, then let them use your energy to give them the strength they need to let go. Sometimes the dying (and the grieving) are holding on for one another, or just afraid to move on.

I send your family strength to heal and endure wherever this road takes them. Should your nephew survive I hope that he leads as full a life as possible. If he passes on I wish him a peaceful journey, and that you all may grieve and grow as time passes.

I hope that you understand what I'm trying to say and know that I would never wish for your nephew to die... only for all of you to be strengthened in this unbelievably difficult time, come what may.

10:14 PM  
Blogger Sunflowerfairy said...

Tina M. I wish you left me your email address so I could thank you personally for your comment. If you read this, please email me at sunflowerfairy AT hotmail dot com so I can do so. I also have some thoughts (positive ones, nothing negative) to share too.


10:26 PM  
Blogger CinderOla said...

Oh man. That really is heartbreaking. I don't even know what to say. *hugs* :(

10:30 PM  
Blogger Christie said...

I second Tina's thoughts. I can imagine how hard it is for your family to go through this right now.

Strength and positive energy to you and yours

12:53 AM  
Blogger Xia Diaz said...

My heart goes out to your family. I'm praying for your little nephew. Hang in there.

4:20 AM  
Blogger Monika said...

This certainly is a hard time for you and your family! Tina M. said it very well, it is also my believe. I send you and your family strength to go through this, and no matter what the outcome, you'll be stronger for it.

7:42 AM  
Blogger Carole Knits said...

This is truly heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. I don't think there's anything you can do but be supportive and mindful of their emotional needs.

7:55 AM  
Blogger Marla said...

I don't know if my last post went through.

I'm just catching up on my blogs and my heart goes out to you and your family. There will be a lot of tough decisions ahead and I hope the strength comes easy to make them.

When you are ready, I can probably find the PA equivalent to the Husky program for your family.

8:07 AM  
Anonymous sweet said...

I will pray for the baby and your family. For word of comfort I give you today is my sons 19th birthday, he was born at 1lb 7 ozs and given 1% chance of surviving. He had a grade 4 brain bleed and the doctors felt he would not survive. Doctors do not know everything, its the angel that sets on the babies shoulder that whispers words of comfort to the baby that will make a difference. My son spent 2 months in mcgees in pittsburgh, i wish you all the best.

9:41 AM  
Blogger Acornbud said...

So sorry to hear about your nephew. I will send all my positive thoughts as well.

11:58 AM  
Blogger Yarnhog said...

I wish there were words that could make it all better. I am sending your family positive energy and hope that the parents will find a way to comfort each other during this dark and difficult time. I don't think there is anything you can do except offer love and sympathy. Perhaps you could contact other family members to see if they might like to contribute to a fund for the medical bills. People might appreciate a chance to express their support in a practical way that would help alleviate some of the stress for the parents.

1:23 PM  
Anonymous Woolybuns said...

This is such a heartbreaking story. Please email me privately woolybuns at german-angoras dot com and I will give you my phone number. I have friends from the Pittsburgh area visiting here right now who want to help provide some relief for your brother. We're hoping to find a place for him to stay. I have a cell phone number and name to pass on to you.

8:06 AM  

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