Sunday, December 14, 2008

Feeling Sentimental.

I'm not sure what I want to write.

I recently "bumped into" an old friend. I'm not sure what the protocol is. I have no idea if I should reach out or keep to myself. I would love to play catch up, but have no idea how to go about it or if it's welcome.

Funny, just when you think the door is shut forever, someone comes by and unlocks it- the door opening may settle my heart or tear it open, just like it was left years ago.

I recently went through and tossed a bunch of photos from back then. I didn't want to move them. But mostly, I didn't want to hold on any longer. I really thought that I'd never hear from you again.

I'm not saying that I wished for things to be different- you went your way, I went mine. I seriously could not be happier than I am right now, right here. I feel blessed to live the life I do.

But I still wonder- why you left without a good bye and worse- why you came back without a hello.

You are missed. In so many of my life changes you were thought of. At my wedding, when my grandmother was ill, when my son was born...I played your cd while in labor....you were there.

And you are loved. Not loved in a romantic sense, but in that basic, human connection that we shared from the moment we met. I hope you know that.

Be gentle. I'm feeling fragile.

4 Comments:

Blogger Anna said...

Hope things become clearer and that you stay happy with the choices you made. And make.

2:30 AM  
Blogger Carole Knits said...

Hmmm. Sounds like you still need to think this through. Or let it go. You'll know what to do.

5:31 AM  
Anonymous Imbrium said...

My best friend from high school recently got in touch with me after eleven years...it's been weird, but good. I hope you find what you need out of your situation.

12:07 PM  
Blogger the boogeyman's wife said...

those dangling ends of relationships that i don't understand, the whys, those haunt me. i've wondered if the chance to find answers would help, or if it would just tear me up again and make me doubt myself and my choices. or if there would still be no comprehending others' choices, no explanations offered. it sounds like you have the chance to find out. be gentle to yourself too.

4:57 PM  

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