Yesterday and today have been difficult for me. I'm feeling heavy and I need to get it out somewhere, anywhere. I'm feeling really alone on this.
Some back story- I have a sister who is 2 years older than me. We are complete opposites. She recently told the world on Facebook that she got married. My family had no idea. His entire family was there to witness it. She said it wasn't planned, yet made favors, had a professional cake made and wore a wedding dress. I found out through Facebook that my sister got married. Sadly, that's not the worse that's happened over the last few weeks.
Yesterday I found out that she moved to Puerto Rico to be with her husband, a pilot who got a job down there.
How did I find out? Facebook.
She never said good bye, never called, never emailed. Nothing. Just left.
I'm so upset by this. I have no idea why. She hasn't really spoken to me in years, and for no reason that I know of.
But I still feel like an abandoned 10 year old. Seriously. This has dragged up so much harshness in me.
I want to eat every piece of chocolate in the world. I want to get drunk. I want to go somewhere by myself. I want to crawl back into bed and cry until next year. I want to call her and swear at her up and down. I don't want to deal with the kids, the husband, the housework, any of it. I want to steep myself into my 10 year old broken body and pout.
I unfriended her on Facebook. It was the only control I felt that I had. She doesn't want to be a part of my life? Well, I won't let her be.
I want to know what I did that was so wrong in her eyes.
But most of all, I miss my sister.